Lost and Found in Translation

No one said it would be easy bringing such young children to another culture with a different language. But they are quite resilient. Although I am doing my best to remain flexible there are challenges, especially when it comes to figuring out the kindergarten.

It has been good for our children to attend this Montessori school where it is play-based and not too structured. Eleanor and Lucas are enjoying it and Lucas is learning a little bit of the language. He comes home singing a new song almost every day but I have no idea what he is saying. He thinks it is great that he teaches his mommy.  Eleanor is pleased that she aids the teacher when they read English books but as her class is more advanced she gets frustrated with not knowing the language. As neither of them get to talk a lot while they are at school I am besieged by two chatty little ones for the rest of the day.

It is helpful that Tim speaks the language but most days I take them to school and pick them up so communication is limited as I can only say formal greetings and basic comments. This leaves room for all kinds of mixed communications. I tried to learn as much as I could about the culture before arriving but some things you just learn as you go.

The children started school on the fourth day after our arrival. Their first day was a short day so I picked them up at 10:30am which is their usual snack time. I brought some raisins to avoid a meltdown on the twenty minute walk home in thirty-nine degree heat. They were hungry so they each grabbed a handful and began to eat as we made our way to the exit. I received some strange looks until my neighbour came over and told me what I was doing was not acceptable. In that moment I learned a valuable lesson about feeding children in Japan. These parents do not give kids food on the go. Food is a ritual where you sit at a table to eat, unless it is a picnic. In two months of being here I have never seen a mother give her child food unless we were at a restaurant or a picnic. (I have seen one baby get a bottle and no breastfeeding). The children who attend this kindergarten are able to stay and play after school without needing to eat. My children are always so hungry they don’t want to stay and play. How can they be so different? Is it because of what they eat for breakfast? The Japanese do have fish and rice and miso soup as a normal way to start the day. Maybe this provides more lasting energy than cereal and yogurt.

The school, like most, sends home a lot of notices. They need to be translated and even Tim isn’t always able to figure out what they say. Some are really important and contain information about upcoming field trips and all the items the children need to pack. Others are focused on building a community among the mothers. I am lucky to have mothers in both Eleanor and Lucas’ classes who lived in the U.S. for a short time so they speak English well enough to ensure I get the basic details. There is still always a lot of discussing back and forth and some confusion that needs to be cleared up. None of it is easy.

Lucas’ teacher translates and writes down what she wants to say to me. I also get extra help from an overly kind mother who lived in Australia for a brief time and although she has five children I think she has taken me on as a project. She has arrived at my door with notes both translating information and explaining some of the politics among the mothers to help me know what is going on (which is unnecessary). She often causes more confusion though as her English isn’t fluent and misunderstandings occur. One day, after digging up a lot of sweet potatoes from the school’s garden, I asked her for her recipe for sweet potato pie (they were not the nicest potatoes we were to taking home).  The next day she brought a pie for our family. That was just what I needed. I was trying to figure out what to do with them all and she added to the abundance. She does mean well and is trying to ensure we have a wonderful time while we are here, so she has also baked us a delicious chocolate cake and brought the children toys.

A terrible misunderstanding occurred when Lucas was given a snack that contained peanuts by mistake (he is allergic to all nuts). They didn’t know that he was having a reaction but when I went to pick him up he didn’t look well and said his stomach felt really sore. He said he was going to be sick. I stood up and tried to take him out of the class but it was not allowed. The teacher had a mom translate that it was probably heat stroke as I had forgotten his hat that morning. They took his temperature and it was fine. I waited through end of daily announcements as I had been made to feel like I was overreacting so I didn’t feel comfortable running him out of there. I felt trapped and I really didn’t like it. A friend drove us home and Lucas threw-up just as I got him out of the car. He said it was the snack and I knew what had happened.  I gave him some medicine and he sat on the couch for two hours before he returned to normal. It seemed that no one takes a woman seriously so I brought Tim with me the next morning to explain that Lucas had an allergic reaction. The teacher got out the snack and went over the ingredients and sure enough it contained peanuts. She had made a huge mistake and I felt really bad for her as she got really upset. Then the administrators became involved and there was a lot of apologising. To ensure it never happened again we were given a list of all the snack ingredients and we had to cross off all the ones Lucas couldn’t eat. I tried to explain that I would rather always provide his snack but they wanted me to trust them. They wanted Lucas to trust them again. It was hard to agree because I didn’t trust them anymore but they really wanted to save face. I talked about it with Lucas and assured him he was safe. He laughed and said they only give him two little crackers for snack anyway and that caught me by surprise. I asked Eleanor about snack time and she also complained that they get the smallest bit of food and that is the reason she is always so hungry when I pick them up. On the days they stay for lunch they are not given a snack at all. Well, it was good for me to know this but it took a month for me to find out. I am sure it was written in the information booklet we were given at our initial meeting but Tim and I never took the time to do a detailed translation of it.

Another story about Lucas was when his class was going on a field trip to the insect museum and they were travelling by bus. I was asked if he gets car sick and I answered ‘yes’. He does if the journey is over an hour. Before I could ask how long of a drive it would be everyone was getting involved and translating what I needed to know about procedures to follow to allow his teacher to give him medicine for the trip.  His teacher ran off to photocopy papers and the kind mother went on about the medicine I needed and where it could be purchased. She ended up bringing some to school the next day as she wanted to be sure I used the correct one. I thanked her over and over as is customary. Tim looked up the place and informed me how long of a drive it would be. It was only a half an hour drive but I gave Lucas some medicine in the morning just in case. I didn’t want it to be a problem for the school.  I brought a note to Lucas’s teacher the morning of the trip stating that Lucas had taken some medicine and that he should sit in the front of the bus just to be sure. His teacher looked relieved and it all turned out fine.

One day Lucas was running around at recess with a pylon on his head pretending to be a wizard when he ran into a boy on a scooter. They both fell down and Lucas bit his tongue so it was bleeding a lot. They called Tim on his cell and he had to go to the school. He told them Lucas would be fine but they wanted the Vice Principal to go with him to take Lucas to the Children’s Clinic. There was a lot of discussion and in the end they went to see the doctor. The doctor laughed and said Lucas was fine. The amount of bureaucracy we had to deal with around medical insurance was not. 

I am really flying by the seat of my pants here and I wonder about the children. I hope that they are drinking water when they are thirsty and that Lucas tells them when he has to do his business. He recently informed me there are only urinals in the bathroom and I assured him that couldn’t be true as there are girls in his class. I am told a mother’s job is to learn to let them go and this trip is really testing me on my ability to do that. I know in the end it will have been a good education for all of us.